The Reheat: Michigan
Texas and Quinn Ewers turned the Big House into a house of horrors for the Wolverines, 31-12.
Welcome to The Reheat, a weekly recap of the previous day’s game, just popped out of the microwave. Look for it every Sunday, rain or shine.
Texas turned the Big House into a house of horrors for the maize and blue. Great programs have the uncanny ability to make the most hyped game of the week ugly for their opponents. Now, Texas is 2-0 on the season and the same record all-time against the Wolverines. But this wasn’t a classic like the 2005 Rose Bowl. In fact, the win was so methodical it felt like the kind of whipping your dad gives you when he’s calm but knows you need a beating. “Lean over on that bed son, and I’m going to hit you three times with my belt.” It’s the type that puts you in your place, a reminder that it could have been worse, but mercy was shown. 31-12. Maybe Steve Sarkisian is telling the truth when he says they didn’t come to Ann Arbor with anything to prove. Frankly, it sounds like coach-speak to me, but regardless—notice was served, to Michigan and the whole country.
We’re back to the days of routine, business-trip-like ass-kickings of talented opponents. I don’t think Michigan is one of the top teams in the country—they’re absolutely flawed, as I wrote last week—but they’re still loaded, despite what the naysayers comparing them to McNeese State might say. Yesterday was almost boring. Almost. But more than anything, it was confident big boy football. The second-half lull got me reflecting on confidence, because when Quinn Ewers arrived at Texas in January of 2022, his confidence level was in the gutter, as was mine.
Quinn was coming off a lonely fall in Columbus when he should have been a senior in high school. Instead, he rode the bench as maybe the most hyped quarterback to come out of high school in 20+ years—until his backup Arch Manning came along shortly after. I imagine that season was somewhat of a purgatory for Ewers, who arrived at the Buckeyes just days before fall camp and seemed to regress rather than develop. Sark said this week that Quinn was a “shell of himself” when he first joined Texas and doubted aloud to Sark, “can I even still do this?” There were flashes in his first season, against Alabama and Oklahoma, but more often than not, he seemed indecisive, jittery, and lacking joy. His state of mind probably matched that of most Longhorn fans who wondered if things would ever really turn around in Austin. Maybe there really was something in the water here. In the place Kirk Herbstreit once called a cesspool.
But, just as Sark was believed in from the top, washing away any notions of a cesspool that might have existed, he always believed in Quinn and built him back up into the player he was promised to be. Most importantly, Quinn stayed the course. He’s gone from a player stuck inside a shell to one who flourishes in big games on the road. After Ewers threw the backbreaking touchdown to Matthew Golden before halftime yesterday, he celebrated with his teammates and shouted, “All day!” (lip readers would have noticed some added color as well). Then he hit the sideline with a pose and a stank face that would’ve made the 2022 version of myself fall out of my chair. The throws on the run, the poise, the bullets from the pocket—that’s the player I thought we were getting back then. I’m sure it was the player Quinn longed to be again coming off that chilly fall in Columbus. But frankly, after that first season, I wasn’t sure if mullet Quinn was capable of that—those kinds of throws, those kinds of moments, those kinds of games. I didn’t know if the Longhorns were capable of days like yesterday anymore. But here we are. The Big House beatdown was Texas Football.
All the live long day.
Fire The Cannon for: The offensive line. For being the embodiment of how this program has transformed in toughness under Sark. Not the fake, meathead type of toughness exhibited under Tom Herman. When Sam Ehlinger was quarterback, I can’t count how many times he’d get hit late or with a cheap shot, only for the line to stand around with their hands in their pockets. But against Michigan, on a broken play by the goal line, Quinn went to his knees to end the play and got drilled after the whistle with no flag. Then all five big boys in white served justice when the refs wouldn’t—penalties be damned. You love to see it.
Horns Up on Offense for: Gunnar Helm. Which of those two teams was the Big Ten team again? Because the Longhorns’ tight end was the best one in the Midwest yesterday, in a conference known for producing big bruisers who can catch and run, Helm was dominant.
Horns Up on Defense for: Andrew Mukuba. I hate a lot of things about the transfer portal, but it’s pretty cool when it brings a hometown kid back to Austin and he thrives. The transfer safety from Clemson by way of Austin LBJ was all over the field yesterday and added his first pick in a Texas uniform.
Bevo’s Bucket for: I’ll take the 15-yard penalty for protecting your quarterback all day (it was offset anyway), but there are still too many flags being thrown on the offensive line, especially before the snap. The Longhorns were amazing on third down yesterday, but that might not always be the case. Too many false starts will have you playing from third and long too often. Also, a ticky-tack holding call took away an amazing throw and catch for a touchdown from Quinn to DeAndre Moore, and it also negated a great catch and run by Johntay Cook in the fourth quarter that could have led to more points.
Schadenfreude of the Week: What a week for the transitive property! The 11 AM ass-whipping let Texas fans kick back and laugh at other teams the rest of the day. Oklahoma struggled with a Houston team that got destroyed by UNLV last week, while Arkansas blasted their own foot off with a shotgun in Stillwater, only for Notre Dame to fumble away their stroll to the 12 team playoff as they snatched the “best one-loss team in the country” title from the Aggies after their home loss to mighty Northern Illinois.
Fail of the week: Worst attempt at Horns down ever or is this guy switching sides? Maybe he got into grad school in Austin.
This Piping Hot Take Burned the Roof of My Mouth: Michigan will go into the game against Ohio State with just one loss.
Not hot enough: Fair enough. Come December, Earl and Ricky will have company.
Hype Train Level (0 being the 50-7 loss to TCU, 10 being 53 Veer pass): 8.
We’ll see you all mid-week, tell your friends about Dance With Who Brung Ya and The Longhorn Alphabet!