The 10 Defining Moments of Sark (so far)
The Longhorns #1 ranking comes before Arch Manning's first start. This all feels like the end of Part One in a novel that I can't wait to keep reading.
And these days you ain't nothin' just an interstate daydream
-Turnpike Troubadours1
The Longhorns are number one. Whether or not that turns out to mean something remains to be seen, but they are atop the polls for now, and it feels like what was once nothin’ just a distant daydream for fans like me is a reality again. I hope I remember that when ULM runs for 18 yards on their first drive and my impulse urges me to scream to the skies “what the hell are we doing Sark?” and maybe I won’t post a job listing on Indeed for a defensive coordinator. If I’m tempted to act out of impulse, then I hope I remember where we’ve come from. These are the days I longed for—when every Longhorn related conversation is tinted with an immense sense of hope, where I cheer alongside my kids and we feel invincible together, when my friends who are fans of rivals can’t muster any trash talk to send your way.2
Steve Sarkisian has built this program back up from the rubble it lay under for years—he’s picked up a team and entire fanbase that had been disillusioned by pee charts, archaic offenses, and inconsistent player development. Despite the injury to Quinn Ewers (which should only keep him out a few games at most) and the media’s desire to create a quarterback controversy between Quinn and Arch Manning, things are looking pretty nice from up here. It feels like the end of Book One of a novel; Sark’s journey to this point is complete. But now comes the hard part—staying up here and making the incremental improvements to get Texas from #1 in the AP Poll to the moment when the tower is emblazoned with a glowing number one. But before we obsess about Red River, or Georgia’s trip to Austin, and playoff standings, let’s enjoy the fact we’re here and look back at the 10 defining moments of Sark’s tenure.3
(In chronological order)
10. Xavier Worthy commits to Texas - Late (April 2021)
If you haven’t read about how Xavier Worthy didn’t end up at Michigan, it’s worth a read. The Wolverines shot themselves in the foot, and Worthy was able to get out of his NLI to the maize and blue and commit late in the process to Sark, who Worthy had built a relationship with when Sark was calling plays at Alabama. The X-Man ended up in Austin, giving Sark an early crack at one of his players for that first season. Worthy was electrifying as a freshman and would go onto become one of the best wide receivers in Longhorn history. Even when things got rough for Texas in 2021, you could point to the future first-round pick that was causing havoc for defenses and making plays as proof of concept for a coach that simply needed more time.
9. $EC (July 2021)
Kevin Eltife wanted a coach with SEC ties when he tabbed Sark as his guy4 in January 2021. It became obvious why when Texas announced in July of that year that the Longhorns and Sooners were fleeing the Big 12 for the SEC. But without the adoption of Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL), the move to the Southeastern Conference would have made no sense for Texas. The Longhorns brass likes to ask their wealthiest donors to give to development projects and put their names on new buildings rather than bag a five-star athlete from the Golden Triangle. Texas always tried to resist the urge to partake in the SEC’s ritualistic practice of passing McDonald's bags full of hundreds to recruits. Many SEC fanbases simply want a university their football team can be proud of, but Texas wants the opposite. It was once unheard of that Texas would mix with the likes of the SEC. When A&M went East, Texas stuck up their noses, a decade later the Longhorns were joining the Aggies. This was the same school that almost went West once upon a time to join up with now ACC powerhouses Cal and Stanford, after all. Because of NIL, Texas could join the SEC and drink the Aggie’s milkshake without getting their hands covered in filth. The move also embraced Texas’ role as the villain in this grand story—a commitment to a fully operational Death Star. And Sark was the one who got to eventually wear the black hat.
Honorable Mention: A horrible loss at Arkansas shows how far from SEC contention Texas is and presses the emergency button in the need for big humans in Austin.
8. Rice, Tech, 28-7
The 2021 season sucked. I write about schadenfreude every Sunday in The Reheat, where I relish in the pain of other fanbases, but I know Texas’ rivals were surely bathing in tubs of Longhorn tears that season. I hope they soaked them up while they could. Following the SEC move, Texas was demolished by Arkansas in Fayetteville, then went 5-7, losing to Kansas. Again. Though it looked like more of the same for Texas to some because Sark wasn’t able to turn things around in one season, there were three moments of clarity that gave a vision of Sark’s future program: Texas demolished Rice, put 70 on Texas Tech in Austin and then got off to a blistering 28-7 start against Oklahoma (before that ended in heartbreaking fashion and led to Black Saturday). Losing double-digit leads became a sad trend that season, but when things sucked, I reminded myself how fun that stretch was, how exciting it felt, and how it felt different from anything that had come before. Tom Herman once told us that “winning was hard,” and he was right—because even when he won, it felt like successfully retrieving something from a running garbage disposal. In Sark’s first season, there wasn’t much winning, but what little there was happened to be fun as hell.
Honorable Mention: Roschon Johnson wills Texas to victory over Kansas State on Black Friday.
7. An insane start to December (Riley, Big Humans, and Quinn)
Roschon Johnson stopped the bleeding on a historic losing streak for Texas, and the Longhorns finished 5-7. For some reason, 5-7 felt way better than 4-8, and RoJo’s culture win sweetened a sour season, a little bit. Then the first week of December proved to be one of the wildest stretches ever for Texas fans. In 10 days, Lincoln Riley left Oklahoma, Mario Cristobal left Oregon, and Quinn Ewers entered the transfer portal. The Sooners were brought down to earth with Riley’s loss, and Cristobal’s departure opened a window with Kelvin Banks and Cam Williams (now Texas’ badass bookends on the offensive line). The SEC move and the Arkansas loss highlighted Texas’ dire need for “Big Humans.” Sark never wavered. He and OL coach Kyle Flood secured a late flurry of O-line commitments for the ages. But the cherry on top was Quinn coming home from a chilly fall in Columbus. In a week, the frustration of the season was replaced with excitement.
6. Arch Manning commits to Texas (6/23/22)
Whenever there were bumps and bruises in the 2022 season, I thought back to Arch Manning’s commitment to Texas—and to Sark. The verbal commitment wasn’t just a high school quarterback investing in a coach; it was the blessing of a football royal family on an entire program. After Manning’s commitment, recruiting became a tidal wave. Think I’m being dramatic? Well, I’m good at that, but read some of the Archimania from this past week and his performance against UTSA, and tell me it isn’t a huge deal. The Mannings transcend football in a way that few athletes do. During the 2022 season, which finished an unsatisfying 8-4, his commitment reminded me not to trust my emotional highs and lows after every game. I want Texas to go undefeated every year. I’m furious when they lose, and when they win, I can still pick nits. I chase after narratives down rabbit holes. Sometimes losses make me want to rip my clothes like a horrified Pharisee, but I’m also an irrational idiot. Thank goodness the First Family of Football—the Mannings—are more rational. They saw Texas lose to Kansas in 2021 but stayed the course. Sark had a vision, and the Mannings believed in it. Before the 2022 home game against Alabama, I wrote, "If the Mannings put their trust in Sark, shouldn’t we?" Two years later, before Arch’s first start against ULM and everything that will follow in the Manning era, I’ll keep reminding myself of how that commitment changed the outlook of the program.
https://x.com/ArchManning/status/1540005818619334656
Honorable Mention: A 20-19 loss to Alabama breaks Texas fans' hearts but leaves everyone proud as hell.
5. 49-0
An Old Testament ass-kicking. A cleansing. Sweet revenge. I wrote about that perfect day here.
4. Dixieland Delight (September 2023)
A 34-24 win over Nick Saban in Tuscaloosa was validation for Sark, Quinn Ewers, and the Longhorns—a much-needed respite after more than a decade in the desert. It answered any lingering questions and put silly narratives—like Sark’s inability to win big games—to rest. The victory also foreshadowed everything that came afterward: the Big 12 championship, 11 players drafted, and the playoff appearance. It also hinted at what’s still to come—for both Sark and Quinn.
3. The Stop
The Wildcats had four cracks at the end zone last year, all inside the five-yard line. A touchdown would have ended Texas’ playoff hopes and possibly their Big 12 title aspirations. With a backup quarterback starting in Maalik Murphy and a huge lead blown, most Texas teams of the past decade would have curled into a ball and died. Barryn Sorrell, T’Vondre Sweat, and Byron Murphy had other ideas. When the cannon fired and the Wildcats were stuffed, I kicked the seat in front of me so hard in excitement that I thought I broke my foot. Sometimes winning hurts—but it hurts so good.
2. The Big 12 Championship
Texas had to have it. That bathtub of tears I mentioned earlier? Yeah, it got turned upside down on the rest of the Big 12—and Brett Yormark—with Texas’ victory in the last Big 12 Championship over Oklahoma State. With the win, Texas secured the last laugh on every single Hateful Eight member, leaving them behind with watery eyes in the sunset.
1. Michigan
I wrote about it two weeks ago, but if there was any thought that last season was an anomaly, beating the national champions into a pulp in Ann Arbor should have erased such notions. It was the end of Book One in this era of Texas Football and I can’t wait for Book Two.
The only OU fans with a hint of artistic talent. RIP Toby Keith.
Shout-out Dad, shout-out Josh, shout-out Bebe, shout out to my Dirtbag Aggie cousins. I love you all, friends turned rivals that are still friends are one of the best things about this awesome, beautiful, terrible and stupid sport. Everyone (except the maroon and white) will have their moment to gloat. And for now, well, being a good sport is something I hope my children inherit from their mother.
Was I loose with the term moments in this article for narrative purposes? Of course I was.
I was despondent when Urban Meyer didn’t work out. Maybe someday I’ll write an alternate history of how that saga would have launched like a rocket, crashed and exploded.
I’d forgotten about Urban Myer. Dodged that bullet!
I prayed that we didn’t get Meyer as a coach. What a jerk.
Just FYI: Saturday is Alumni Band Day. I’m not participating for numerous reasons, but when LHB and LHAB are both on the field there will be more than 1000 band members performing.